A letter to my Valentine

Dear kind wonderful Josh,

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you and miss you so much and I want to tell you why.

I love your smile.

I love that explosive laugh you sometimes did when you thought something was really funny.

I love that you think I'm really funny and I love that you're really funny too.

I love that you were always willing and so happy to hold my hand. Even if you were driving your Jetta and had to steer and shift with one hand which wasn't super safe, but it was super cute.

I love that you gave it your all when you sang in the car and would sing sappy, sweet love songs to me.

I love that I didn't even have to ask you to do something, all I had to do is mention I wanted something done and you would do it.

I love how you were always kind and generous and thoughtful and just wanted to make me so happy.

I love that "I love you" was such a major part of all our conversations.

I love that we had this conversation many times started by either one of us:
1:I love you!
2:I love you too!
1:No you don't understand. I LOVE you!
Because it was so frustrating to have all this love and joy and light and wonder in your heart for someone and only have those three small words to convey it, like they're not enough!

I love that sometimes you got irritated with my family when you thought they were teasing me too much. (Sorry, family)

I love that you love my family.

I love that my family loves you. They love you so much they don't want to call you brother-in-law, just brother, because they don't want to put that distance between you.

I love that I feel the same way about your family.

I love that it's like we weren't allowed to freak out at the same time. If you were concerned about what we would do for money, I would feel do calm and confident when I told you it would be all right. And then an hour later, I would be like, "no wait, what DO we do for money?!" And you would totally calm me down and reassure me it would be okay.
These days I do a lot of freaking out, but I know you're making sure we'll make it.

I love how you were really nervous about being a dad, but only because you wanted to do a really great job.

I love how when you held our son, you could tell how much you loved him and how happy you were.

I love how you always looked at me like you were so lucky to be with me and like you won the lottery, which is crazy because obviously I was the luckiest one.

I love you, Josh. I am so happy to be yours.

Your Valentine forever and always,

Erica

P.S. I love you.
P.P.S. No, you don't understand. I LOVE you.