Once upon a time there was a magical land where it never rained

The End!

Basically today is really horrible and bad and hard and stupid and sad and dumb and blergh.

So here are a bunch of dad jokes because they make me laugh so hard, so you should laugh so hard too. I can not guarantee that everything you might read will be 100% appropriate.

Click here for so much funny!


My dad's personal favorites: pirate jokes

Where does a pirate go to the doctor?
The CARRRdiologist
Why did the pirate go to the movie?

Because it was rated AAARRRR

What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You might guess it is AAR, but his first love be the C.

MY favorite right now:

Why doesn't Magneto wear purple anymore?
Because the days of fuchsia passed.

Troika Linda

I have serious and important things to write, but I'm in Flowell and don't have my computer. So I tried to write in on my phone and I want to use so many (at least four) pictures so that was a joke. Luckily there are computers in this house, who woulda thunk?

I know this girl

pretty well. I mean she's only been my sister my entire life, and she gave me my favorite stuffed animal (a big ol', cuddly mouse) for Christmas when I was two. So you could say we're familiar.


















When I was little, I didn't think there was a better goal in life than being just like her. I always tried my very hardest to spend all the time with her and her friends learning how to be the most awesome, and was promptly kicked out of the room. But it's okay, she liked me eventually. Coming to college and having her to hang out with and make me feel like I already had at least one friend, the coolest friend, helped me believe that I could handle what life had to throw at me.

Even now it's hard for me to not see her as the foremost authority on everything as far as how awesome it is. I remember having a conversation with my sweet sister-in-law Kimberly who had to tell me that very thing. Because obviously we were arguing about whether Taylor Swift was good, and obviously my best argument was that "Tracy likes her." (Tracy, do you even still like her?) And Kimbop was all, "Tracy isn't always right about everything" or something like that and I just laughed it off, but my mind had this reaction.



And I pretty much still just think that if Tracy likes something, it's probably the best version of whatever thing it is she likes. That sentence made sense.

She has the MOST style of anyone I've met. Even on days when she's thinks she's so lazy and looks like a hobo, she looks more put together than I am on my best day. It's pretty frustrating actually. Oh, and have you heard of her modeling career? It mostly takes place on social media, but it's pretty amazing just the same.

She's doing laundry in this one. How is that even fair??

But the most important thing is that she is a good sister who is kind and loving and wonderful. When Josh died, she hurt so much right along with me. She is still all the time telling me how much she misses him and is there  for me when I need her. She lets me be sad and cry at her and welcomes it. The first time after it happened that I laughed so hard I cried and felt comforted was with her watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. He had that Benjamin Buttons thing. It was the first moment that I felt like things had the potential to get better. I just love her is all.

I'm telling you all this for a reason. That reason is this:

My sister is getting married to this man and his beard. After everything I've said about how good her taste is and how awesome she is, do you think she was settle for any less than the best? He is so good for her. I can see how he loves her. I can see how she loves him. If he reads this, he is probably just gagging at all the cheesiness in what I'm writing. I don't even care, Destin! Thank you for loving my sister.Thank you for being the best person in the world for her. Thank you for writing your love in the sand, but using an anatomically correct heart.

The Catching Hunger Fire Games

I finally watched Catching Fire, and halfway through I remembered seeing the first Hunger Games movie.

I went to the midnight showing with my lovely friend Emily Zimmerman. It was the Thursday night/Friday morning after Josh and I started dating. He couldn't go because I had gotten the tickets before then and I had no idea that I would have somebody to take when the time came. As I have mentioned before, Josh told me he loved me that Friday when we went to his family's house. I had completely forgotten until about two hours ago that I had been up so late at a movie the night before.

We went to the movie, and it was great, and I was telling Emily all about this boy I was dating and somehow I had managed to smuggle a giant takeaway box (I like to say takeaway because of that one time I lived in England for six weeks) of Beto's rolled tacos into the theater. There was lettuce and guac everywhere.

On the way home, we were texting. I honestly can't remember if I texted him first, not expecting an answer, or if he texted me to see if I was okay. I do remember thinking how incredibly sweet he was to still be awake waiting up for me to make sure I got home safe. I was still telling Emily about him after the movie, and with him texting me, I looked over at my friend and said, "Emily... I think this kid loves me." And then she was like, "you've been dating for like four days." And I knew that, but it just felt like it was coming, and then we all know that it did.

So that's crazy.

For the next two minutes, it is five months ago today that Josh died.

People always say how strong I am and how amazing I've been through all of this blah blah blah.

I still believe all the things I've said before. I still know that I will see Josh again.

It's not helping at the moment.

It doesn't take away the pain.

I miss him very much.

And I am so, so sad.

Happy Easter?

Yesterday was a ridiculously hard day.

Usually I'm somewhat prepared, but this time is was just like, "Yay, Easter! Oh no so many emotions, so much heartache I can't breathe aaaaaaagggghhhh!"

You ever had that?

I am in Flowell again this weekend because I'm doing this experiment to see when the Robisons will finally tell me to go the heck home. It was stake conference, which I don't really know how to describe to people who don't know what that is. The best I can say is that multiple congregations in the same area get together and have a meeting and we have great speakers and it's wonderful. One speaker that came was telling a story about how he had an impression that he needed to go to the hospital because of chest pains, and he found out he needed a heart transplant. The night before another test to see how he was doing, he plead with Heavenly Father to be healed to raise his kids and be with his family, and the next day he was totally healed.

It's a beautiful story, isn't it?

CAN YOU SEE WHY I MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE HEARING IT?

I have never doubted my testimony or thought that The Lord had abandoned me because Josh wasn't healed. I don't understand why this happened, but I did understand that it was for a reason. But when I hear a story like that, I can't help but wonder and question. Did I not have enough faith? Could I have done something differently?

I had to actively reassure myself that just because we didn't get the miracle we wanted, it doesn't mean we did anything wrong. It doesn't mean we were less deserving of a miracle. The miracles we received are just a lot more difficult to see.

Another speaker mentioned Lazarus, and I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the day. Boiled down version is that the two sisters of Lazarus told Jesus that Lazarus was sick, and eventually he died. When Jesus got to them, he had already been passed for four days. The sisters told Christ that if He had been there, He could have healed their brother.

Jesus went to the grave and called Lazarus to come forth, and he rose from the dead.

Before he healed Lazarus, the most meaningful moment I have read in the scriptures is captured:

Jesus wept.

Jesus. wept.

This man. The Son of God. A man with a perfect knowledge of the gospel and the eternities. A man who knew that He could heal His fallen brother wept.

I know that Josh and I will be together again. I know that his passing from this life does not make him gone from me forever, and I know that the time we lost here will be a mere minute when compared to eternity.

And that does not take away the pain of missing him now. That does not cancel out the grief I feel every day that he is not here.

So still I weep.

But because of Him, one day I will weep no more.

A nice kind of rant.

In the last few days, I have had talks with a couple of unnamed friends who have some unnamed, very difficult things going on in their lives. I listened to them, and felt with them, and loved them. I told one of them that I am always here to talk and would love to listen to her say what she needed to say if she wanted to. She did, and I was glad she shared with me, but she also mentioned beforehand that she didn't want to be insensitive to me.

I appreciate that very much, BUT

This is directed at absolutely anyone who wants to hear it. Please, PLEASE don't keep things from me if you don't want to because you think what I'm going through is hard enough. I'm not saying everyone out there wants to talk to me about things, but if you do, I don't mind at all. It is not insensitive. I still care about my friends.

I am so touched by people who tell me that they can do hard things because they see me do hard things. I am blown away by it, in fact, because I have never in a million years suspected that I would ever be any kind of role model for anyone. Especially now, when I often feel my world crumbling at my feet. .

There is no giant pot that holds all the emotion in the world. And because I'm using more than my usual share that means everybody else has to sacrifice a little of their share so that I can feel more than them. Nobody has to say, "Well Erica is being sad right now, so I am not allowed to feel bad about this thing going on in my life, and definitely not in her face."

My feelings do not take away from your feelings. My sadness does not affect your sadness. And I don't want anybody to think that I will not listen to their problems, or will listen, and just not care.

Dear, dear friends,

I care about you. I love you. I want to hear everything in your life all the time always. I just can't guarantee that you won't have to hear a little about me. :)

When things go back to normal

For everyone else, that is. 

Facebook messages and calls have become more of a rarity. People don't feel the need to tell me they're thinking about me as often. That's not to say that I think people aren't thinking about me. And they don't need to be sending me messages either. It's just a new phase.

I see my friends and family continuing with their lives. Moving forward because that's what life is. It doesn't ever stop. But I can't help feeling left in the dust. I want to say, "Hold on! Wait for me; I need more time. Can't we all just take a breather?" My loved ones can't just put a pause on their pregnancies or their new jobs or growing up. People won't stop getting married, and, as hard as I may try, I can't just stop them from living their lives. And while I don't actually want them to, sometimes I think I'm probably missing a lot.

It's been almost three months, and that just seems like a tiny, tiny amount of time for me. But so many things have happened and so much is going to continue to happen. And life will continue to level out for everyone around me. And life will continue to never be normal for me ever again.

My mom came into my room today and asked me why I was crying. I just sort of looked at her because really? "I mean is there something specific that happened, or is it the usual?" Well specifically, the love of my life is gone, and I miss him like crazy. That will never not break my heart.

My sweet Logan was blessed in church today by his uncle Nate. It was beautiful and one of the first big moments in my son's life. It was a happy moment and so devastating at the same time. Every major and minor stepping stone in his life will be riddled with bittersweet feelings of happysad crylaughs. I will always wish that Josh is there with us. And he physically can't be (although, I'm sure he will be with us in a different way). It just . . . It just sucks. A lot. And I'll never get over it, and it will always be there at the front of my mind. 

It's good to see people progressing. It's good to know that life goes on and that those I love can find joy and have adventures. I'm just not ready for it myself. 

But I wasn't ready for any of this. No amount of preparation would have made me ready. And life isn't about being ready. Sometimes it's not even about tackling problems that's you're not ready for. Sometimes you feel like you're trying to walk through the thickest mud. But you pick up one stupid foot and put it in front of the other. Thinking that as long as you don't stay still, you've reached your goal. You don't even know where you're going yet or how you're going to get there, but you're going. 

It doesn't matter where you are on the mountain, as long as you keep climbing.

Jefferino

Hello, friends! Welcome to this very special ONE HUNDREDTH blog post. How momentous and exciting! I feel like there should be fireworks. Here we are.

I'm not sure why or how they are ejecting directly out of Big Ben,
but everything about this gif pleases me. I dig it to infinity.

I knew I was getting close to this point, and I wondered what I could ever write about that would be important enough because it seems like a big deal for some reason. Fortunately I happen to have something really awesome to talk about, so get super ready! 

Let me tell you about this clown:

His name is Jeff and he is my brother. Technically, he's Josh's brother, but I mostly against the term "in-law"
these days, as I mentioned last time. I love all my brothers so much, but right now I just want to talk about Jeff.

I feel like, and maybe it's just me, that Jeff and I have a special bond. It's probably just me. He's probably reading this right now and rolling his eyes at how cheesy and dorky that sounds. (Hi, Jeff!) Regardless, I believe it to be so.

The first time I ever saw him was when I went down to the Robisons' for Nate's farewell. I say "saw" and not "met" because I never actually spoke to him or was introduced the entire time we were there. He hid in his room and I assumed it was because he was in high school and obviously way too cool for his brother's friends. I did get to meet and hang out with the two youngest brothers, and I liked them instantly. They were in middle school and easier to impress, I guess.

But when I started dating Josh, and went to officially meet the family, I was already a little worried about the oldest brother at home, and whether he would acknowledge my presence this time.

It turned out he was just bummed about a basketball game that first weekend, because he was super friendly and not at all scary like I imagined! He was funny and goofy and officially declared that I was okay after I was a little too sarcastic with him. It was a great moment of triumph.

It didn't take long for me to realize that this was a really special kid. Yes, he does have a great talent for driving you up the wall (don't even say anything about being old around him, or he'll speak in an old grandpa voice the rest of the day) and making lots of jokes, but it is astounding how kind and full his heart is.

He's just a really unique person in many ways. He is a star athlete and it is so fun to watch him play any sport. It was the most fun to watch all the boys play basketball together, with the older brothers helping the younger ones to develop their skills, while also just beating up on each other. Jeff told a story at Josh's funeral about the first time he beat Josh in a game of one on one. I remember that game. I didn't even watch that game, but I remember how upset Josh was the rest of the day. He was always crazy proud of his little brother, and all he had grown up to be.

At our wedding, we didn't have a big reception line because we didn't feel like everybody coming in needed to talk to a huge group of people in a family they didn't know. At the reception in Flowell, it was the same. Here was the line: Me and Josh, my parents, his parents, and Jeff. Nobody asked him to stand with us, but he wanted to greet everybody and talk to all of them. I don't even know what character trait this is, but it's something that always stuck out in my mind.

He has always been super nice to me. So have all the Robisons, of course. You can tell that he just really cares about people. If he feels his friends need him, he is there in a second, even if it's just to sit with them while they're sad. That's probably why every high school student I meet likes him so much.

I always feel really protective of him, and I brag on him probably way too much. (Did you know he was nominated to be a McDonald's All-American in basketball?) We have a super cool handshake, and he doesn't even make me feel dumb for thinking that it's super cool. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and I'm always reminding him that I'm here for him if he wants to talk. I think he thinks I'm a lunatic when I say that, because he's like, "ok..." He's obviously really strong, and I probably need his help way more than he needs mine.

He loves Logan so much. It just warms my heart every time I see them together. Before basketball games, he would never come over and talk to us, because he was too busy getting in the zone, I guess. The last few games when we've been there, he rushes over to hold his nephew and play with him before he has to go get changed. If that doesn't seem special, I don't know what does.

He is the one of the closest people to the spirit that I have ever met. He is always amazing me with the things he says and the insight he has. Many people got to see that side of him when he spoke at Josh's funeral. Lots of people have told me since then how impressed they were with him, like they couldn't even believe an eighteen-year-old kid could have such a great understanding of the gospel. I was and always am so proud of him.

In October of 2012, President Thomas S. Monson announced that they were changing the age that young men could go on missions from 19 to 18, provided they were graduated from high school. As soon as Josh and I heard that, we thought about Jeff. We knew he would be excited, and as soon as Josh called him he said, "I'm ready to go." He's has had a one track mind since that announcement. What was a little frustrating for him was that he turned 18 in August right as his senior year was starting, so he still had to wait a pretty long time to go, but he's been doing everything he can to prepare and be ready to serve as soon as he is graduated. Anyone who knows him knows how ready he is to serve and spread the gospel.

Yesterday, Jeff was called to the Mexico, Mexico City mission. I can not stress this enough. I am so proud of him. I believe the people of Mexico are the luckiest people on the planet to be able to meet him and learn from him. While it makes me pretty sad, because I'm going to miss him like crazy, I know, and so does he, that going on a mission is the absolute best place for him to be. He's going to love it and they're going to love him.

Jeff, you are one of my heroes. You probably don't even know how much you inspire and teach me every day. I am so honored to call you brother. Thank you for being you.