A bit of insight.

My dear sister-in-law, Kimberly, told me the other day that she missed me, although it has not been long since the last time I saw her, and she lives across the street. But she mentioned that she realized why it seemed like she hadn't heard from me in a while: because I haven't been blogging! Side note: the word "blogging" makes me feel pretentious for some reason. I will try to refrain from using it in the future. Anyway, after Kim said this, I thought, "Oh my goodness! Away to the computer so I can write a fantastic new post about something amazing and everyone can glory in my awesome!"

Well that didn't happen. And I don't really have anything to update on, but there is something I have been thinking a lot about lately, so I thought I might share. I hope everyone is ready for a wild ride.

Forgive me for getting all spiritual for a moment, but "love one another" has been hitting me pretty hard. Like punching me in the face. Repeatedly. I'm sorry if this seems a little too violent for a prompting for kindness, but sometimes I need that extra push.

Without going into many details, there is somebody that I don't get along with. But I keep getting these stupid promptings to be nice to her and be her friend. And I'm thinking, "whoa now, I have enough friends and I just don't care about her that much." I was fully prepared to be civil, but I didn't want to invite her into my life even a little bit. Minimum effort seemed necessary.

But then the Spirit smacked me on the back of the head. "Erica, man up and be nice. You're not better than anyone else and we all need friends." I might be taking some liberties with how I felt and what I "heard," but I like to convey things in ways that are clear to me. So then I was thinking a lot. Why do I have to be friends with this girl? She has friends. I'm not that important. But I chilled out and listened intently and finally decided to talk to her. I was friendly and had a nice little conversation. Everything seemed all well and good, and I though that maybe this was all I needed to do. Ha! I win.

Wrong.

So later she talks to me and expresses how thankful she is that I talked to her and that we could be friends. She seemed genuinely happy and relieved that there were no problems between us, and I felt so good. Like... so good.

Why can't I just be friends with people? Why can't I rely on people and let them talk to me? Why do I think I can handle everything all by myself and I don't need to go out of my comfort zone? I don't know why. But it's dumb of me, and I'm going to stop.

Apologies for this ridic long post.